Jack's POVs: Full Circle
by Feli
Summary: Jack's thoughts during the episode 'Full Circle'


TITLE: Jack's POVs: Full Circle  
  
AUTHOR: Feli  
  
EMAIL: author@sg1-place.de CATEGORY: POV, Drama RATING: G SPOILERS: Full Circle (season 6) SUMMARY: Jack's thoughts during the episode 'Full Circle' STATUS: Complete  
  
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The situations and original story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission of the author.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thank you, Kat, thank you, Sam! You helped me make this fic so much better. Hope you're ready for the next one... ;-)  
  
Daniel's really done it this time. Coming to me in an elevator and asking me to help the Abydonians fight Anubis. Apart from this being an impossible task, how am I supposed to make the general believe that I'm not a raving lunatic? I mean, for crying out loud, the eye of Ra, Anubis, Oma...  
  
But then again, the general knows that *I* would never come up with something like this. And it looks like Abydos really needs our help, so hopefully we can leave the discussion of the state of my mental health to a later time. Much later. Actually, never would be good.  
  
Something's bugging me though. Don't know what it is but something that Daniel said - or didn't say? - is nagging at the back of my head.  
  
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Damn, busted. It's not like I really believed Hammond wouldn't question the source of my intel. Can't fault a guy for trying though, can ya? Okay, here it comes.  
  
What? Daniel visited you and you didn't tell me? So what if I didn't talk about *my* experience with him, I wasn't sure... . Yeah, okay, Teal'c, I see your point.  
  
And at least the others are accepting my explanation without any fuss, so let's concentrate on saving Abydos now.  
  
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Saving Abydos. We're about ready to uncover the mysterious eye of Ra - and luckily it's *not* really an eye. How gross would that have been? And you know what? I'm angry! Hell no, I'm pissed!  
  
Daniel, do you hear me? I'm pissed! At you! Where do you come off, telling me we have to fight Anubis with only a bunch of kids suffering a severe kind of hero worship, while you just stand aside and *watch* from God knows where? Since when do you care about following rules you don't agree with?  
  
This is not like you. If the Daniel I know were here...  
  
God, no! This is what I said to you in Baal's prison, isn't it? It's what I said when you told me you wouldn't help. When you held their rules higher than...  
  
No, don't go there right now, it's not important. Focus on the issue at hand, Jack, and dammit, Daniel! Show up here *right* now or we leave!  
  
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I hate these impasses. We're over here, the Jaffa are over there. Daniel crossed the line, we have the eye, Skaara's dead, no, ascended, and did I mention that this place is crawling with Jaffa? Especially around the entrance, which is where I would have liked to take my team.  
  
I'm glad Daniel crossed the line, I'm just...I just wish he'd done it sooner. Like when I was being killed by Baal again and again and again. Yeah, that would have been a good time. I think this is the thing that's been bugging me. Why would Daniel refuse to bail me out but do everything to save Abydos?  
  
Wasn't I worth getting in trouble for?  
  
Nah, that's a stupid thought to have. Daniel is...was...is my friend, the closest friend I've had in a long time. He's saved my life countless times, almost as many times as I've saved his. Back in Baal's prison it was *him* telling *me* not to think so low of myself.  
  
And isn't it unfair to compare an entire people to one single life? After all we're talking about all of Abydos here.  
  
What's more, would I even have wanted Daniel to act any other way? Sure I wanted him to help me but then, I didn't know about the Others' rules. Would I have accepted Daniel's refusal to help had I known? I'm not sure, I'm not even sure if I understand the rules in the first place. And thinking back to Daniel's visit in the elevator I think even he doesn't understand them fully.  
  
Is that why he's finally intervened? Teal'c said Daniel visited him during those days he and Bra'tac shared junior. And even if he didn't magically spring me out of Baal's fortress Daniel did help me, just by being there.  
  
What else has he witnessed? How many times did he have to stand by and watch something horrible happen right before his eyes? Often enough to finally cross the line I guess.  
  
Okay. Does this make me feel better? Yeah, I guess it does. Nothing like these deep, self-analyzing conversations in my head to restore my good mood, is there? Especially in a situation like this.  
  
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What?  
  
What?  
  
*What?*  
  
WHAT?  
  
Let me recap what you just said, Daniel. Just for the fun of it, you know. A, your Oma's here and helped Skaara ascend. B, that snakehead Anubis figured out how to ascend. C, and this one's especially funny, the Others didn't want him but failed - yes, I heard you, *failed* to exile him, and last - but certainly not least - D, the Others are the Ancients. This just tops it all, doesn't it? The Ancients, the builders of the Stargate, didn't give a damn about having a freaking goa'uld in their midst!  
  
Have I got this right, Daniel? Come on, bottom-line it for me, will ya.  
  
What?  
  
WHAT?  
  
Lost city? Okay, back to this deal with Anubis thing first. Are you out of your ascended mind? You can't make a deal with a snakehead. An ascended snakehead, for crying out loud! God, Daniel, this is never going to work. I wanna save the Abydonians as much as the next guy and I especially wanna get my team out of here - alive! But this, this is insane!  
  
And I'm gonna go for it. Right now it looks like my best bet to get my team out of here. But Daniel - there better be a really large stash of weapons in that lost city. Big, honkin' space guns and all!  
  
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You've really done it this time, haven't you, Daniel? Courtesy of Oma we just got treated to the biggest disappearing act the universe has ever seen. I mean we're talking an entire planet here! Copperfield would be green with envy right now. And you've got Skaara spouting this journey of your life stuff, too. Bet that makes you proud, huh?  
  
Does it, Daniel? Are you even aware of it? You know, I was a little concerned when you didn't show up at the SGC after that debacle on Abydos. The days we couldn't access the Abydos gate also had me worried. And two minutes ago Skaara told me that he hasn't heard from you either.  
  
It occurs to me that for the first time since you ascended I'm not 100% sure that you're...alive, for lack of a better word. Because I realize now that no matter what happened during the past year I always knew that you were out there somewhere. Maybe not *knew* knew but I felt it, and now that we've almost reached the Abydos gate - which hopefully is *not* an illusion - I don't know what I feel. No, that's not right. I still have this 'Daniel's not really dead' feeling, it's just - hell, how can I still believe this, when everything that's happened in the last week proves the opposite? Am I just fooling myself or are you actually - miraculously - still out there?  
  
I guess it's up to you now, Daniel, there's nothing I can do at the moment. Except bring my team home.  
  
FIN  
  
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